RingSide Report

World News, Social Issues, Politics, Entertainment and Sports


By Anthony Santiago

OMG! Did you see the new trailer for DARK KNIGHT RISES? I just saw it on line and was blown away! I loved the last one with the late and great Heath Ledger. He played the Joker, a great character for sure. Now, we have Bane and Catwoman to deal with. Good golly Mrs. Molly, there’s a whole lot of shaken going on here, and I’m not talking about teeth shaking out of my husband Georgie Girl-Santiago’s head either, cuz he ain’t got no teeth!

The dark stranger will be a hit for sure. There’s too much hype surrounding it. I looked in my inbox and I got 436 million emails about this new movie. It was that popular! I compiled them all and came up with the top 10 reasons why DARK KNIGHT RISES will rule and all other superheroes will drool.

10 – Tight spandex pants
9 – Utility belt of mystery
8 – Bane’s muscles upon muscles
7 – Michael Caine’s sexy accent
6 – Morgan Freeman’s salt and pepper hair
5 – Catwoman, meow
4 – No toothless villains
3 – Adam West bulge not included
2 – Aura of mystery
1 – Sexual tension between Michael Caine and Christian Bale

As you can see, this movie brings the sexual appeal for men, women, transgender…you name it! I will be front row with my toothless idiot husband, Georgie Girl-Santiago, and when I’m not saving him from eating Charleston Chews, I plan to sit back and watch this great movie!


Am I the only one that wants a toothless villain called “Gummy” to face Batman? I have written several letters and have never gotten a response, but all my friends at Wal-Mart think it’s a good idea. Tuffy, the security guard, told me that Gummy would rule and Batman would drool, and Betty the cashier told me that it’s a good idea, and he’s always right.

What about The Evil Gum? What about Toothy Mr. No Tooth? The possibilities are endless, but there is discrimination against the toothless community. So, in conclusion, @#$# you Batman.

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