OMG! My uncle Antonio, my daddy’s brother, sent me 1900 dollars to bail out my dad for his welfare fraud and I decided to let him rot in there and spend the money on an Xbox One and new TV. Ja-ja…he-he…dang…YA HEARD! Well, I get it home and I’m ready to play Call of Duty and this piece of crap worked one day and now it ain’t working! Oh, this is just great.
Bill Gates, you asshat! You make all that money and then you bend me over and bukkake my backside with your glitchy piece of crap?!!! Well, for your information, I’m Joystick Georgie, one of the most respected gamers in the gamer world and my word is law with many of my BILLIONS of readers and none of them are going to buy your little game system from this point on. How do you like them apples? How would you like these grapes up your mouth? YA HEARD!
Get this. I got a call from my daddy. I guess uncle Antonio told him that I was supposed to bail him out. Really? Really? Well, if you wanted your asshole brother out of prison, then you should have walked your fat ass to the prison and bail him out. Oh, just because you’re paralyzed from the waist down, I should feel sorry for you? I don’t Uncle Antonio! I don’t! Go fuck your mother!
Just to show you IDIOTS out there that I’m not heartless, I’m letting my daddy have the last word, a Thanksgiving wish, from his prison cell…take it away daddy!
I wish I was in my bonded leather chair right now! A soft chair would be good considering that these horny assholes won’t leave this old cat alone! Do you people know what “running a train” means? Well, I tried to find the biggest guy in here and brought him to pleasureville and now he was supposed to protect me, right? Well, get this…this bastard pimped me out for one box of cigarettes! They are taking M&Ms…the red ones and they wet them and then wipe the red dye on my lips to make it look like I have lipstick on. Fuckers. Now, I’m stuck in here for something I didn’t do and they told me that my Thanksgiving is going to be great and that I’m going to be the turkey and everyone is going to stuff me. People, please, be thankful that you are not getting gang-banged from behind this Turkey Day. My son…if you are reading this. I know Antonio gave you the money and I know you set me up! When I get out, I’m going to kill you!!! I swear on my life. Oh no…here he comes again. Damn. That new guy that they transferred in…no. No, sir…no I’m not going to do that again. No, I don’t need my gag reflex tested. No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!