STRIDENT MUSIC UP AND UNDER. WHITE COATED DOC WITH STETHOSCOPE HANGING LIMPLY FROM NECK, OPENS DOOR TO EXAM ROOM. DOCTOR IS SMILING AND HOLDS OUT HER HAND IN GREETING.
PATIENT SEATED IN CHAIR, ARMS CROSSED ANGRILY ACROSS HER CHEST.
PATIENT GLARES AT PHYSICIAN AND SCREECHES:
“You never sent the prescription. I’ve had no medicine for 3 weeks. The pharmacist said they called four times and you never called them back!”
Ah yes, my fellow Bad Doctors. This happens a lot of the time. And, of course, it’s all our fault.
We know that pharmacists never, never, never, make mistakes. They always listen to their voicemail within an hour of us calling in. They always check their internet for electronic prescriptions. They always check their fax machines for OKs from our offices.
Where shall I begin?
Ah yes. Several weeks ago, one of my patients got on her cell phone and called the pharmacy, had the pharmacist on the phone and said she was calling for Doctor Curmudgeon (she had my permission, of course. She needed to pick up the RX quickly on her way to the airport).
She handed me the phone and I put it on speaker, carefully gave the prescription, my name, phone number, etc and explained that it needed to be filled within one hour. Pharmacist said it would be done. Kazam! The pharmacist had spoken!
Well you guessed it, gentle physicians. Patient got there two hours later and pharmacist didn’t have it and said her doctor had never called it in.
I don’t know exactly what happened, but she told me later she created a storm in front of a crowd of people, got some overlord, got her prescription and told them she would never darken their damned door again.
Yes, it was my fault. I had never called in the prescription. The pharmacist said so.
MUSIC UNDER AND UP AS SMALL FEMALE PHYSICIAN RUNS OUT DOOR AND INTO STREET TEARING AT HER PRISTINE WHITE COAT, DRAGGING HER STETHOSCOPE BEHIND HER.
LOGO APPEARS WITH FIST HOLDING UP STETHOSCOPE WITH BATTERED DIAPHRAGM AND LIGHTENING BOLT ACROSS IT. UNDERNEATH:
MDS AND DOS UNITE. IT MAY NOT BE TOO LATE
FADE TO BLACK
DISCLAIMER: OF COURSE THIS DOES NOT OCCUR WITH ALL PHARMACISTS, THERE ARE MANY MANY GOOD ONES OUT THERE. BUT IT DOES HAPPEN AND IS MORE THAN ANNOYING TO OUR PATIENTS AND TO US.
SERMO www.sermo.com “talk real world medicine”