Doctor Curmudgeon® Political Ads…Over At Last!
By Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D. FAAFP
Doctor Curmudgeon® breathes a big fat sigh of relief.
Over at last!
Mid-term elections have passed.
And with them, those annoying, factless political ads. For sheer inanity, they are seldom surpassed.
To avoid those irritations and commercials, she records almost everything that her family watches.
However, the fast forward and stop buttons are not as exact as she would like. Being subjected to any segment of these agonizing ads is very trying to her weary soul.
Political ads focus on tarring and feathering their opponents. They pick things out of context and blow them up. They downright tell big lies about the other office seeker.
This is unconscionable. To her addled brain, it seems logical for political ads to focus on what they can do for their constituencies. This makes so much more sense. Because of these tenacious mind blowers….they haunt her weary brain.
Some near-unavoidable political ads still linger in her mind. They play on and on and on…with their own versions
DON’T VOTE FOR JOE BLOW. HE IS A THIEF. HE IS A TRUE CRIMINAL
(In actuality, Mr. Blow accepted a piece of chocolate from his secretary unaware that she had registered with a specific political party). Definitely makes him a thief!
DON’T VOTE FOR CATTY CATNIP. SHE WILL LINE HER OWN POCKETS AND CARES NOTHING FOR HER SUPPORTERS.
(It was found that Ms. Catnip had no photos of herself placing money in Christmas buckets and there was no concrete evidence that she had ever helped someone across the street who was using a cane)
DON’T VOTE FOR BRUNHILDE BLATHER BECAUSE SHE FAILED IN SCHOOL; THEREFORE SHE IS STUPID
(Ms. Blather had applied, unsuccessfully to be a Rhodes Scholar. However, she had been accepted at Oxford, Yale, Harvard and the University of Chicago and received a Ph.D in Political Science from Harvard and a Master’s Degree in Economics from the University of Chicago. Indeed an intellectual failure!)
They rattle around in my brain, but fortunately are becoming dimmer.
Next election: Be Nice Out there!
Doctor Curmudgeon® is Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D., a physician-satirist. This column originally appeared on SERMO, the leading global social network for doctors.
SERMO www.sermo.com “talk real world medicine”