Doctor Curmudgeon® Memo From The Desk!

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By Diane Batshaw Eisman, MD FAAFP

That’s it!

It has become too much.

I have really had it and I refuse to take it anymore.

Enough is enough.

I have to type this in the wee hours of the morning when she is not around. And then I will post this quickly on Sunday morning, before she has a chance to trundle down the chairs from breakfast, in her scruffy night shirt, reeking of coffee.

My time has finally come. I am the often cursed, much maligned, talked about in negative terms and made fun of…..DESK OF DOCTOR CURMUDGEON®!

And this really makes me rattle my drawers. SHE has even threatened to set me afire! Harsh. Harsh. Harsh.

I have done everything for her.

I support the weight of the papers and charts and books and telephone and computer.

I am always there. I never run down the hall or to the bakery for a bite of chocolate croissant.

Never!

I am loyal

I am faithful

I do not deserve this treatment.

It is all her fault. I refuse to take any of the blame.

Is it too difficult for her to, at least, stack things in neat piles? Too hard to put down a coaster, so I don’t have rings from coffee mugs on my once beautiful surface? Too impossible for that supposedly big brain of hers to remember to cap her pens?

Oh, I could go on and on about the perverse treatment I have received at her sticky, chocolate stained hands.

But what is really stinging are those awful things that she writes and says about me. The only thing that I am grateful for is that she avoids twitter. Just imagine her lying tweets?

I am now standing up for myself.

All that she writes…please remember IT IS ALL FAKE NEWS!

Doctor Curmudgeon® is Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D., a physician-satirist. This column originally appeared on SERMO, the leading global social network for doctors.

SERMO www.sermo.com “talk real world medicine”

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