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Doctor Curmudgeon®: Save Me From Another List


By Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D. FAAFP

Another one!

Somewhere in the darkest, hidden, benighted part of this universe…there exists a great list maker.

There simply has to be one.

This individual is sequestered away, without a committee, inquiry board or acronymic agency to keep him/her in check.

It has become nearly impossible to peruse email or perform a search without finding “the ten best.” Why is it always ten? What is so creative…so magical…so edifying about ten? Why not six or 71?

Therefore, as a duly registered, board certified, member of the Council of Curmudgeons, I now propose my ten best list.

A Curmudgeon’s Ten Best Lists

Actually, after thinking for hours, soaking in a tub, sampling chocolate, flipping TV channels, this curmudgeon found it easier to come up with the ten worst lists…
So…A Curmudgeon’s Ten Worst Lists (not in any order of worstness:

1. The Ten worst decisions/tweets/actions by any public figure in the past 17 minutes.

2. The Ten worst things your physician’s electronic health record has done to him in the past 32.6 seconds.

3. The Ten worst (or actually stupid) things somebody has told you that have been found on the internet to “inform” you of what is really happening in the world

4. The Ten worst “investigations” and time wasting scouring of people you have seen on television in the past 3.5 days

5. The Ten worst reasons to go into whatever profession you are currently in.

6. The Ten worst conferences/ meetings/webinars that you have ever been coerced into attending.

7. The Ten worst lies/misrepresentations/distortions that have been presented as “facts” that you have heard in the past 39.8 minutes.

8. The Ten Worst reasons not to vote…if you can find even one reason (which curmudgeons across eternity doubt)

9. The Ten Worst reasons to teach by rote and to avoid fostering critical thinking

10. The Ten worst reasons to stick your head in the sand at this time

(Feel free to add your ten best corrections, comments, complaints and insults. Whether or not there is a curmudgeonly response, these are always welcome to a curmudgeon)

Doctor Curmudgeon® is Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D., a physician-satirist. This column originally appeared on SERMO, the leading global social network for doctors.

SERMO www.sermo.com “talk real world medicine”

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