Doctor Curmudgeon®: Evolution of a Care Package!

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By Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D. FAAP Doctor Eisman, is in Family Practice in Aventura, Florida with her partner, Dr. Eugene Eisman, an internist/cardiologist

Doctor Curmudgeon® has had her shower.

She has ingested her coffee.

The multi grain, flourless toast embellished with a dab of melted low fat organic cheese has set her digestive system to doing its work.

Finally, the organic blueberry, strawberry raspberry bowl with a smidgeon of low fact organic Greek yogurt (unsweetened of course) has been divested of its food. The bowl is now clean (Doctor Curmudgeon® has long been a member of The Clean Plate Club).

A package has arrived.

After Hero Doctor (the cranky curmudgeon’s husband) had scoured the package with Lysol (He is not an advocate of injecting the stuff!), thrown the wrappings in the outside trash, scrubbed his hands and nails while singing “Happy Birthday” four times, the contents were explored.

Doctor Curmudgeon® had been messaged by a friend that a “care package” was on its way to her.

This was not the care package of old. This long awaited and happily received care package was not filled with goodies.

Its contents:

10 N95 masks
12 alcohol hand sanitizers
4 gallons of Lysol
7 cans of Clorox disinfecting wipes

This care package was greeted with squeals of joy, of leaping up and down. A true care package for the modern age.

And, after quiet resumed in the Curmudgeon household…after all the items In the package had been put away… the small physician allowed herself time to sit quietly and to enjoy one chocolate chip cookie.

Before consuming the entire sweet, she held it up, examined it and thought about days of yore.

Indeed, those were the days!

Days of a different kind of care package.

Summer sleep away camp where parents sent perfect care packages filled with cookies and homemade cakes baked with love.

She recalled the days when Doctor Curmudgeon and Hero Doctor were medical students…now there were two sets of parents! Double the amount of wonderful edibles and gifts! She mused about the contents of those care packages. What bliss!!

Mournfully, she stared at the can of wipes on the counter near the sink; at the spray bottle of Lysol.

Nothing delicious!

But still… they were true care packages!

Filled with things the curmudgeon needed.

Care packages for today!

Packed and sent with love from a dear friend.

And that was what mattered!

Doctor Curmudgeon® is Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D., a physician-satirist. This column originally appeared on SERMO, the leading global social network for doctors.

SERMO www.sermo.com “talk real world medicine”

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