Face it America… Donald Trump is Insane!
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By Donald “Braveheart” Stewart
Mr Trump is all alone…
Picture the scene…
It is the not so Oval Office, in a not so White House that we find Mr Trump who has finished with his crayons and watched yet another foreign affairs briefing sent by his staff. He turned the briefing off because he thought Dora was finally going to be swiped by Swiper and that would have been very upsetting.
Anyway, he has very important events for which to prepare.
He is being allowed once again to talk to the people with notepads. He knows that they are not to be trusted but he liked standing in front of them and pointing at them. He likes pointing. He knows that nobody points as well as he does. He is the best ever pointer, in fact nobody knows more about pointing than he does.
He gets rid of anyone who says he should stop pointing and start listening.
He doesn’t like listening.
Unless it is one of those foreign affairs briefings, those are good to listen to. The other briefings are tooooooo boring….. To many papers and not enough pictures… Like Dora…
So, he is ready to go out but he has been given a paper. He doesn’t like the paper things he gets. They have words and he finds them quite difficult to say out loud unless he has written them but now he needs to learn the words.
There is a knock at the door, and he looks up. It can’t be the nurse, she was in earlier.
Maybe it is important, so he shouts, “Come in.” He likes shouting come in. He likes saying come in. He knows that nobody says come in as well as he does. He is the best ever at saying come in, in fact nobody knows more about saying come in than he does.
Someone comes in.
He doesn’t recognize him. Then he remembers that he hasn’t seen the guy with the funny moustache for a while – where did he go? Anyway, it’s a guy so he feels comfortable. Mr Trump asks, “What is it?”
“Mr Trump, your press are here and we need to go.”
Mr Trump likes keeping people waiting. He once kept some old lady in a pink suit waiting when he was abroad. He liked that. Perhaps he should keep them all waiting now? He looks at his paper. The words are still there. He looks at the guy in front of him. “Give me a minute.” He says and the guy leaves.
Mr Trump is alone again. Or is he….
He decides to debate the paper…
“This is probably, unfortunately, get worse before it gets better,” he says.
“It’s the Kung Flu and will be gone soon.” He responds…
“I am facing dire poll numbers, surging cases and sharp criticism and need to change policy to get re-elected.” He says.
“It’s fake news, all of it.” He responds.
“I need to show more leadership, and more discipline.” He says.
“We are great leaders. I am a great leader. The whole world is really looking at how we are dealing with this crisis because we are so good at it.” He responds.
“I need to urge people to wear face masks, promise to work on my administration’s strategy.” He says.
“But we are in the process of developing a strategy that’s going to be very, very powerful. We have developed it as we go along and the whole numbers shall go down if we stop the testing thing.” He responds.”
“I have to get better in saying something I don’t like saying about things, but that’s the way it is.” He says ad gets interrupted by the knock again at the door.
Out loud he says, “We have embers and fires and we have big fires and unfortunately now, Florida is a little tough or in a big tough position. You have a great governor there, great governor in Texas.”
The woman who enters responds for him, “Yes we do Mr President – and is the great President ready?”
He nods and takes his paper with him. His mind is made up and she asks, “The mask?”
“I know. We’re asking everybody that when you are not able to socially distance, wear a mask. Get a mask, whether you like the mask or not, they have an impact. They’ll have an effect, and we need everything we can get.” Producing a mask from his suit pocket, he adds “I carry the mask … I have the mask right here. I carry it and I will use it gladly.”
She looks at him and wonders if he is about to have one of his “episodes” but then he smiles that crooked smile and says, “The vaccines are coming, and they’re coming a lot sooner than anybody thought possible to beat the China virus. it will disappear”.
He is now looking at the paper and she smiles realising that all will be well. He is going to do as he is told but she is aware that some leopards NEVER change their spots. She wonders if the rest of the world shall be fooled…
Whilst the author asserts his right to this as an almost original tale, any similarities to persons real or imagined are deliberate. However as there is little or no evidence that a Mr Trump ever watches Dora the Explorer, as far as he is aware, this is clearly fictional and never actually happened, though many of the words were spoken by Mr Trump.
The fact is that Donald Trump announced in his new daily coronavirus strategy press conference a change in strategy as the numbers dying and getting infected in America are beginning to get worse and worse and worse.
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