Doctor Curmudgeon® Why?
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By Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D. FAAP Doctor Eisman, is in Family Practice in Aventura, Florida with her partner, Dr. Eugene Eisman, an internist/cardiologist
Doctor Curmudgeon is not unhappy with telemedicine.
In the beginning, she was far from an advocate.
But, times have changed.
And she and telemedicine have reached their own private détente.
Although, she is not able at this time to lay stethoscope upon chest or abdomen, she finds that most patients are willing to spend more time with her.
People are relaxed in their own homes; perhaps a furry companion on their lap, a cup of tea on a side table, in casual clothes.
And the doctor herself found that she no longer wakes up a half hour earlier to “put on her face.” She does not rush into professional dress. No aggravating traffic.
However, some of her experiences with telemedicine have been a tad bizarre.
There have been several people who have accepted her telemedicine invitation and when Doctor Curmudgeon sees them, it is quite obvious that they are not only in their car, but driving! Driving while having an office visit? Yes, this is an office visit. How can someone possibly be attentive to discussions about their health, a physician questioning them about their various bodily systems, paying attention to how they feel at the moment….when they are navigating Miami’s dangerous traffic, even during a pandemic?
Why?
And why would they schedule a physician appointment and then get in their car to drive?
With most of these people, they are on the way home, because they just decided to run out for something first.
Why not schedule the appointment for a later time? We are very flexible.
Why not “run out for something” at a different time?
Last week, a video appointment was scheduled with a gentleman who was working from home. During the visit, sounds of clatter and clink were heard as the patient kept moving around. Doctor Curmudgeon begged him several times to “please sit down in one place so we can see each other and focus.” It took a while but finally he was seated. However…lo and behold! The patient picked up his fork and began eating what was most likely lunch! He couldn’t wait a half hour?
Why?
But few things top a patient visit which occurred about two weeks before the office closed temporarily. The patient sat opposite Doctor Curmudgeon in the armchair in her examining room. As the physician spoke with the patient about her health concerns, the patient reached down for her bag. She pulled out a bottle of nail polish, removed her sandals and began to paint her toes a bright crimson!
Why?
And there are those who schedule appointments via telemedicine and then when Doctor Curmudgeon sends out the text message link, they ignore this. And so the physician calls and receives a voice message. The patient did not feel it necessary to call to cancel or reschedule. After all it is only telemedicine and the doctor is just sitting around at home, while removing lint from her navel!
Doctor Curmudgeon’s responses during the above mentioned interactions are not printable.
Doctor Curmudgeon® is Diane Batshaw Eisman, M.D., a physician-satirist. This column originally appeared on SERMO, the leading global social network for doctors.
SERMO www.sermo.com “talk real world medicine”
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