Riches to Rags: How the Trump Campaign Went From $1.1 Billion to Zilch?

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By Nikki Slusher

Before we get this clusterfuckery going I want to apologize for the language I use throughout this article. I normally retain vulgarity for just my tweets, but I am like so fucking over this guy. Today’s sermon is from the book of Donald in Chapter 11 simply titled bankruptcy. Just like every other endeavor Trump has taken on now his 2020 presidential campaign seems to be depleted of funds. While most of us watched the businessman turned reality star play Mr. Successful the reality was he blew through his inheritance and bankrupted six businesses, basically going broke all before the millennium. Old habits die hard, and for the president it seems that his financial savviness has now been put to the test on his reelection campaign.

Despite the RNC and Trump campaign having raised over $1.1 billion from early 2019 through this July, it seems as though Team Trump has blown through over $800 million and will likely be negative prior to November’s election. So, the question is – how did the best businessman anyone has ever seen before spend it all?

Unfortunately for the Dorito Gambino campaign finances must be reported and can’t be hidden like his tax returns. It isn’t too hard to find either and realize how he has become a broke bitch again. For starters, $11 million was spent on Super Bowl ads in an attempt to prevent the sensitive 45 from having a complete shit fit over Mike Bloomberg’s 60-second spot. Although the “self-made” billionaire is well off compared to majority of the world, Bloomberg is worth an estimated $54 billion. That is 17 times more than Donald. Therefore, if he wants to blow $11 million on ads to fuck with someone or the president, he can well afford it. Trump’s Super Bowl “vanity splurge” made little sense, but it made him feel better and that’s all that really matters right?

Even more astonishing is that these ads that were shown for just one-night cost more than the Trump campaign has spent on TV commercials in major battleground states like Wisconsin, Michigan, Minnesota, Iowa, and now Arizona. His former campaign manager Brad Parscale, the man who brought us the greatest MAGA rally we’ve ever seen with over one million tickets sold but those damn Soros funded ANITFA terrorists blocked all but 10,000 supporters from entering, thought it was a brilliant idea to spend $1 million on air time in Washington D.C. which everyone with at least three brain cells knows always votes blue. Why? Oh, because Trump consumes eight hours of TV daily, after reading his daily briefings about Russian bounties on American troops heads of course. The thought was Donald would be pleased to see himself being praised in between showings of Fox & Friends, along with his lord and savior Hannity. Parscale also used funds for his own personal driver more than likely because the Lamborghini he has probably is repossessed. Like most Americans, after Parscale was laid off I’m sure he is now anxiously waiting for that second round stimulus check.

Continuing with the broke back Cheeto, the campaign had also hired “a coterie of highly paid consultants” which include a large well-paid staff housed at a “cavernous, well-appointed office” in the suburbs of Virginia; contracting a company called Yondr that was paid $110,000 to make magnetic pouches to store cell phones at fundraisers so none of his donors could record him during a moment of routine stupidity and leak it to the “fake news” media; a former bodyguard (what the fuck are we paying Secret Service for then?); and over $800,000 towards Parscale’s Instagram and Facebook accounts so he could deliver pro-Trump ads. On Twitter, however, Parscale claimed that Trump was delivered by God to save the nation for free unless you count his salary. Additionally, those swaggy MAGA hats and Trump-branded chocolates came with some hefty price tags to make. Two firms that make the gear were paid $30 million since 2019 alone.

If you are doing the math, we are nowhere near $1.1 billion yet. That’s because the receipts keep coming. This would not be the Ringside Report if we forgot the president’s legal bills and filling the coffers of his personal businesses, the ones he could not divest in after his inauguration in 2017.

Per the New York Times report, here is the legal escapades the Trump campaign and R.N.C have had to dish out cash for in just three years: Republicans, for instance, have been saddled with extra legal costs, more than $21 million since 2019, resulting from investigations into Mr. Trump and, eventually, his impeachment trial. The R.N.C. also paid a large legal bill of $666,666.67 to Reuters News & Media at the end of June. Both Reuters and the R.N.C. declined to discuss the payment. It was labeled “legal proceedings—IP resolution,” suggesting it was related to a potential litigation over intellectual property. Mr. Trump, who once joked he could be the first candidate to make money running for president, has steered, along with the Republican Party, about $4 million into the Trump family businesses since 2019: hundreds of thousands of dollars to Mr. Trump’s club at Mar-a-Lago in Florida, lavish donor retreats at Trump hotels, office space in Trump Tower, and thousands of dollars at the steakhouse in Mr. Trump’s Washington, D.C., hotel. Many of the specifics of Mr. Trump’s spending are opaque; since 2017, the campaign and the R.N.C. have routed $227 million through a single limited liability company linked to Trump campaign officials. That firm, American Made Media Consultants, has been used to place television and digital ads and was the subject of a recent Federal Election Commission complaint arguing it was used to disguise the final destination of spending, which has included paychecks to Lara Trump and Kimberly Guilfoyle, the partners of Mr. Trump’s two adult sons. Millions more followed to firms tied to R.N.C. and Trump-linked officials, including more than $39 million to two firms, Parscale Strategy LLC and Giles-Parscale, controlled by Mr. Parscale since the beginning of 2017. Mr. Parscale said that he had “no ownership or financial interest in A.M.M.C.” and that he had “negotiated a contract with the family for 1 percent of digital ad spend and after becoming campaign manager took no percentage.” I was going to try and summarize it, but this is so hysterical/unreal it’s just something you have to read for yourself.

Let us not forget the costs that are associated when your candidate can’t stop tweeting and flying off the deep end 24/7. Some of the costs due to these bizarre desires to please the unchosen one includes his switching of the convention plans twice. One instance from July is a $325,000 payment to the Ritz-Carlton Amelia Island near Jacksonville, FL, for the convention that never was. The RNC had fronted the bill and it seems like they will have to take a major L on this non-refundable fee.

But Trump is not one to go down easily, ask Stormy Daniels or the other hundreds of people he has pinned his antics on and fired then publicly humiliated for his own ass-hattery decisions. In fact, Trump is considering using a large chunk of his own change to fund the race, something unseen by an incumbent president ever before. On Tuesday, he got on Twitter (#SusanCollinsShocked) and insisted that his early spending was a brilliant idea. “My Campaign spent a lot of money up front in order to compensate for the false reporting and Fake News concerning our handling of the China Virus. Now they see the GREAT job we have done, and we have 3 times more than we had 4 years ago – & are up in polls. Lots of $’s & ENERGY!” read the tweet. Coincidentally, there is no evidence that this “brilliant” plan worked considering he is trailing in almost every poll imaginable to man.

Later on, he held his daily press conference where he claimed that he did not need additional funding and if he did, he would use his own money. But he totally doesn’t need it. “If we did need, we don’t because we have much more money than we had last time… I think double and triple but if we needed anymore I’d put it up personally,” he rambled on to Fox News.

There you have it folks. The greatest businessman that ever lived whose supporters say is why they elected him has nearly blown through all the money they have given him and the RNC Thank fuck it ends in November otherwise he’d be hustling into a Manhattan court room for criminal charges then hurrying over to bankruptcy court immediately after. If you have made it this far the total amount listed is still not $1.1 billion. As reports keep surfacing to the public, I can guarantee we will continue seeing where all his lavish spending has gone to. While Team Trump continues canceling ads less than two months from Election Day, Ole Joe Biden is out here running ads, raking in donations, and living his best campaign life like a normal person.
As for the rest of us little people, we will gladly watch this train wreck crash and burn itself. It will be nice to not see his unblended tan and low-grade weave on the TV for a 30 second ad praising him when a quick Google search will provide a fact check countering every claim. And Donald, if you ever do see this post, here’s some advice from one broke bitch to another — make sure you hire someone really good to help you apply and expedite those unemployment checks you’ll be needing after November. I think you will find that you not only failed at making America great again, but you also failed at running what should be an easy re-election campaign. Just another addition to that stellar resume. The good news is your financial worries will not last too long since you don’t have to pay bills in prison! It will be another taxpayer funded endeavor of yours, and hopefully the last.

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