Reflecting Back on My Upbringing…

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By Ron Signore

Most of us go through life with goals in mind. If not easily defined as goals, we all have dreams or wishes for life achievements. Commonly, many dream to be a millionaire, have nice things, fancy cars, big house and maybe travel around the world. For others, it becomes more granular in how one sees success.

I spent the last 5 years as a sales manager in the technology industry. I have had the conversation on goals countless times from both sides of the desk. Life must have a purpose. Your work should help you achieve those goals you have in mind. There is nothing wrong with the definition of success being that as previously described in achievements, but for me, the idea of success is vastly different. For me, my idea of success will be portrayed in my children’s accomplishments.

The level my father set growing up for me was almost more unspoken outside of the general assertion to not ever come home in the back of a police car. Even as young children, as far back as I can remember, my parents gave me the confidence and expectation that I could do whatever I wanted in life. For my three children, that bar is similarly set, but with how proud I am of the intellectual progress of my first two children, that bar keeps getting higher. Its not that my third child does not fit that mold, but he is 1, I cannot give accurate possibilities for him yet; though the father’s dream of their kid being a pro athlete is always going to be in my foremind.

Being a dad is one of the hardest jobs in the world, as the same with being a mother. How do you become a positive role model and teach right from wrong when there are times you yourself do not always do what is right? I am not talking about wrong in the sense of criminal activity, though there are some good father figures who choose to earn their living through illegal activity. I am referring to maybe saying some words or discussing taboo topics in front of young ears or leaving Family Guy or South Park on the tv when the children are around. Sometimes, I find myself raising girls in a fashion I would treat raising boys- teasing mainly, forgetting that maybe the young girls are more sensitive.

Right and wrong was always illustrated for me as a kid. What my grandparents would describe as a more liberal way of being raised by my parents, I would consider conservative against my own actions. I had Mr. Rogers and Sesame Street as entertainment influences as a growing kid. Polite and courteousness was echoed in the neighborly lessons instilled by my parents. The foundation was a clear distinction between right and wrong, which paved the way for my life.

It was that basic difference that allowed me to have alter influences shape my personality, but also how I see life when it comes to living and parenting in the modern day. As I grew, I was part of the last generation to truly play outside much of the time. Television was relatively limited, though never forbidden or treated as a reward or treat. Whether it was sports or sit com reruns, the tv was on during dinner. I look back and really wish that were not the case, but at the same time, our family is ridiculously close, so maybe it didn’t take away from any of that consideration. My generation got to experience the tv shows like Full House, The Cosby Show, Married with Children, Who’s the Boss, Home Improvement, and transition to sit coms like Cheers, Seinfeld, and Friends. On a side note, I am sure I will have my view on the popular social media debate on what show was better between Seinfeld and Friends.

Believe it or not, these shows played a huge influence in developing my personality at a very young age. Even now, I must reflect on the concept of what was real and what was not. I am not sure anyone in their right minds would have believed me when I said one of the best tv dads in real-life would-be Ed O’Neill (Al Bundy). For the classless behavior and lack of couth Bundy had as a fictional character, the ignorant who can’t separate acting from reality believe he is his character on the show. If O’Neill was anything like the fictitious Bundy, Twitter would blow up with outrageous shenanigans and criminal schemes of the low life father figure. Instead, O’Neill turned out to be a revered aging actor who continued to entertain people into his old age.

Then we look at the opposite end of the spectrum. Actors Bill Cosby, Tim Allen, Bob Saget or even Stephen Collins (7th Heaven) all portrayed the wholesome loving father who learned from real life scenarios to help grow their tv families. Saget, who portrayed Danny Tanner on Full House was the loving, neurotically clean conservative father who relished to be more keen to the scene as his kids grew. Then you experience his forte in his own real-life stand-up comedy routines. For the sake of potential younger readers, I will try and refrain from the content Saget provides throughout his routines, but it is clear they are the exact opposite of the character he portrays on the show. And Tim Allen who portrayed Tim Taylor on the show Home Improvement would be the modern man’s man husband and father we all came to know, despite his arrest for cocaine possession as a younger adult in real life.

Far worse down the line we bring in the once revered Bill Cosby (Cliff Huxtable) and Stephen Collins (Eric Camden on 7th Heaven). These two portrayed the more angelic father’s with loving moral ridden lessons as their parenting skills came to display through their characters. While The Cosby Show dealt with real life like scenarios an 80’s family may go through, the show brought comedy to those who watched every week, where 7th Heaven was more of a drama illustrating the seriousness felt in more modern situations growing up. Both these loving father figures in a fictional entertainment world would leave the wholesome morals on the set. Both Cosby and Collins would face prison time due to their indiscretions in sexual misconduct.

These actors were all given the script. O’Neill seems to be the only one who did not need to use the script in real life. His antics being the exact opposite of a loving father in his character was almost like it was planned to be that way. Take a man who loves his family and wants to do well by them and make Bundy do the exact opposite. I have no idea if O’Neill was a good father to his kids or a good husband in real life, but he is not in jail for being a criminal scum bag towards minors or women. The challenge as a new father is guarding content in general to our young ones, but to develop a certain type of fondness to a character only to find out they are a horrible person in real life expands the challenge in what content your kids are exposed to.

My kids at this point have not shown the same interest in television as I did at their ages. While they have been exposed to Home Improvement, Full House and Who’s the Boss, they have not been exposed to the negative sides of the real life versions of the actors within. Although, my oldest found out that Tony Danza (Who’s the Boss) is a Republican, so at the ripe age of 9, she has expressed her disappointment. Even though that is not a crime, it was an extreme disappointment to uncover; unless we find out he is a Republican for Biden…

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