Overcoming Mental Health Stigmas

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By Stacy Koruba

One in four people in the world will be affected by mental or neurological disorders in their lives. Around 450 million people currently suffer from such conditions, placing mental disorders among the leading cause of ill-health and disability worldwide. Even though the numbers are so staggering there is still a strong stigma attached to mental health issues and people with mental health problems can and often do experience discrimination in all aspects of life. The health care system in this country and the ability for many to receive care at all is a giant issue. Many assume people with mental health issues can simply “get over it”, that is completely wrong.

While I can not speak for every person with a mental disorder, I can go in detail about my own. People make assumptions about me without knowing who I am. No one knows what takes place inside my brain or how past experiences have shaped the person I turned out to be. When I try to explain myself and am told that I am full of excuses it is hurtful, when I try to go into further detail and am told the person doesn’t have time to deal, it becomes even worse. People judge and place blame but do not want to listen to facts. Believe me if it were as simple as changing my behaviors I would do it.

I have been diagnosed with Stockholm Syndrome, C-PTSD, clinical depression, anxiety, eating disorders and avoidant personality disorder. Every one of these issues comes with its own set of symptoms. I refuse to take many medications, especially anything that leaves me feeling like I am not in complete control of my body. Addiction runs heavy in my family and I am not willing to take the risk. I am not comfortable feeling like I cannot always protect and defend myself, so my options are limited medication wise. I see a therapist once a week, see a hypnotherapist, do self-hypnosis and other holistic approaches to therapy, and yet – I still have my “flaws”. Just because I do not behave the way “normal” people do in certain situations does not mean that I am any less of a person than them.

My issues have been caused from 27 years of consistent daily mental, physical, emotional , psychological and sexual abuse. After that, the mental and emotional abuse continued for another 22 years, but not on a daily basis. I have been raped more than once. I am the victim of a violent crime, at the age of 10 a man broke into my home, came into my bedroom, took his time completely undressing all of my dolls and then got naked and got into bed with me. He had a butcher knife that he held to my throat as he tried to force his penis inside of me. Because he did not enter completely, he was not charged with rape. 6 years later, after he was released from prison, he murdered an elderly woman, after raping her multiple times, stabbing her 27 times and then cutting her hand off and tying it to the string on the light. Her son pulled on the hand when he went to turn on the light, before discovering his Mothers bloody body. At 15 I had to testify in court against him. I was never taken to therapy as a child for this, in fact, I was never given any sort of medical treatment as a child, unless something was seriously wrong. I broke my leg at the age of 6 or 7 and it took more then 24 hours of crying to get to the hospital. I have always been told “stop being such a fucking baby” if I complained, so taking care of myself and any of my needs is not something I know how to do.

I was raised to care for those around me. That was my responsibility and that is the role I grew comfortable in. If I forget to do something for myself it certainly is not an excuse, it is my brain still believing I do not deserve it. I am always on high alert, always looking out for the next danger that is lurking in the shadows. My body and mind are exhausted, but my brain has always refused to shut down long enough for me to get any sort of rest required to function properly. Some days I am functioning off 4 hours of sleep, other days I have been awake for over 50 hours. Some may see me as flighty or even find it difficult to communicate with. The lack of sleep combined with a brain that is going a mile a minute leaves me jumping from one tasks to another, and sometimes details get overlooked.

I am who I am, and I am constantly working on improving myself. I focus on learning how to love and accept myself, and others. I will never stop seeking new ways to finding treatments that help with my mental illnesses, but I am alright with me. Just because my actions do not fit in with someone’s idiosyncrasies does not mean that I am wrong or flawed, it just means that I am a different person with different behaviors.
Mental illness has many causes including: Inherited traits, environmental exposures before birth and brain chemistry. Certain factors may increase a persons risk of developing a mental illness, including: a childhood history of neglect or abuse, use of drugs or alcohol, few friends or few healthy relationships, a previous mental illness, brain damage as a result of a serious brain injury, an ongoing chronic medical condition, stressful life situations or history of mental illness in a blood relative.

Ways to overcome the stigma attached to mental illness are by speaking out against the stigma, seeking help at school for yourself or for your child if they are the one that has the illness, joining a support group can be a fantastic help. Other ways include not equating yourself with your illness, seek treatment and do not settle, if your Doctor or therapist is not a good fit please keep searching for someone that is right for you. Don’t allow stigma to make you feel weak or ashamed, educate yourself as much as you can on your illness and connecting with others who have mental illnesses can help you all gain self esteem over cover come negative self judgement.

Ways you can help others that have a mental illness are by listening without judgement. I do not need nor want your pity. I explain my conditions and life experiences so that I am understood better, that is all. I do not want to be told to get over it because it was long ago, or to just be happy or to stop making excuses. Until you have lived through the things I have you can not tell me how you would handle it, and until my brain is inside your head you can not decide what you would do. Listen without thinking about what you will say next, many times people just want to say what is on their mind. If they need something from you, they will tell you. If you are not sure if they need something, please ask what would help. Avoid being confrontational, having an argument with someone is the last thing I want to do. If you feel someone is going to harm themselves please encourage them to seek professional help, see if you can contact someone that is close to them and call for emergency help if the situation calls for it. The best way to know how to help is by educating yourself and talking openly with your family member or friend. Again, I can not speak for everyone, but I know I would prefer discussing who I am and what goes on inside my mind. I am not ashamed of my illness, they are not me, they are just something I must learn to live a healthy life with.

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