Scumbags Unite: Donald Trump & Rudy Giuliani Define Lying and Disgusting People!
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By Donald “Braveheart” Stewart
Time to do anything about anything is disappearing. It is a confusing time but never more so than when somebody else is taking all your thunder…
Picture the scene…
Mr. Trump is once again in the Not So Oval Office contemplating life, his, the universe, his and what it all means, to him.
He has a copy of newspaper reports and wonders why his so-called friend, buddy, pal is in them and he aint. Just as he turns to find his crayons on the desk, the door opens and in comes the man of the moment, Mr. Giuliani.
Flanked by Agent Orange and the Orange Aid, Mr. Giuliani, never knowingly shy, this time he is smiling from ear to ear over the headlines that have appeared and his President – his after all, nobody else’s – has all of them spread like a Greatest Hits compilation on his desk.
Mr. Trump looks up from the newspapers and asks, “Well, what is it you have to say to me?”
Mr. Giuliani has many faces. It is just that none of them do shame faced.
He looks at Mr. Trump and smiles like a snake about to eat and responds, “Hey, Mr. President, I have to say that I don’t know what they are all het up about. It’s not like I was doing anything other than what we used to get up to all the time, back in the day. Hell, these two fine young men are probably at it constantly with whatever takes their fancy.”
Unknown to either Mr. Trump or Mr. Giuliani, Agent Orange and the Orange Aid are in fact twins. They were “volunteered” for the final run in of what everyone thinks is the last weekend they have to have orange of any type in the White House. In fact they have started to smile a little, dance a little, breathe a little that the four years of hell shall soon be over. They even believe that the Not So Oval Office is a little more shapely and on the outside the color is returning to the White House.
“I am afraid that I am not happy.” Mr. Trump begins. He continues, “I feel like we need to have one of our talks and this time we may not be getting an equal share of anything.”
Mr. Giuliani gulps. He knows this might be the end of a beautiful friendship.
Just at that a Fedora twitches in the corner unseen by anyone.
“Mr. President I know how it looks…”
At that a grumpy, stressed and worried Mr. Trump barks back, “How it looks? I know how it looks. Nobody looks better than I look. There is nobody in this world who looks better than I do, how to look. I look the best. You are trying to get ahead of me here and look like… look like… look…”
Mr. Trump is struggling for a word. Usually he would have his handy speak and spell machine nearby to help him with words but he heard it had been packed away.
Why are they packing things up?
Why is he never told anything?
He wants to know what it is that is going on but nobody seems to be able to tell him anything. Just then he realized that both Orange aid Agent Orange look similar. Believing it is yet another of those Chinese tricks, he shakes his head as Mr. Giuliani tries to speak, “I will … I mean, you know… I meant… there is little….”
“Little,” screams Mr. Trump. He picks up the paper with the biggest photograph of Mr. Giuliani having his hand down his trousers.
“Does that look little to you?”
“Well it was cold in the room, Mr. President.”
Both Agent Orange and the Orange Aid stifle a laugh as a pinkie ring in the corner of the room is twiddled one last time prior to launch.
“Why was I not there? Are we not friends? I mean she looks a doll, a peach, a beauty and you kept her all for yourself?”
Mr. Giuliani is dumbfounded.
Agent Orange is dumbfounded.
The Orange Aide is on his phone applying for a new job.
Eventually, Mr. Giuliani speaks up. “Mr. President had I know…At no time before, during, or after the interview was I ever inappropriate. If Sacha Baron Cohen implies otherwise he is a stone-cold liar. As soon as I realised it was a set up I called the police. This is an effort to blunt my relentless exposure of the criminality and depravity of Joe Biden and his entire family.”
Mr. Trump braces himself for the biggest piece of news he thinks he has ever delivered.
“We are done. Usually I can forgive. I mean, nobody forgives better than me. I have awards for forgiving things, but this is too big. I can’t understand why you would keep me away and keep this for yourself. YOU KEPT HER TO YOURSELF AND NOW YOU ARE TELLING ME YOU DID NOTHING!! It’s worse than I thought! Get out and never come back!”
Mr. Giuliani does not need to be asked twice as he scuttles away. The Orange Aid is dragged by his twin out the room as Mr. Trump focusses on a shadowy figure in the corner.
Was that a New York twang? Was he speaking?
It was a language he did not understand. Moderate, equitable and fair.
The first blow came at him from the front and he ended up on his knees somewhere around Iowa. From there the blows were raining in on him before he blacked out and behind the man with the Fedora, the Pinkie Ring, and the New York thang the American people cheered.
They may not have Bobby Ewing coming out of a shower to pretend it was all a bad dream but somewhere there was an obvious feeling that one nightmare was almost over.
Whilst the author asserts his right to this as an almost original tale, any similarities to persons real or imagined are deliberate. However as there is little or no evidence that Mr. Trump has ever had twins working for him, as far as he is aware, this is clearly fictional and never actually happened, though some of Mr Giuliani’s words have been used.
Over the last week, Donald J Trump’s lawyer, Rudy Giuliani had footage of him in a hotel room with a woman pretending to be the daughter of the fictional character Borat, with his hands down his trousers. Mr Giuliani claimed he was fixing his shirt and nothing untoward went on. Apparently, that’s what they all say when they are caught. I couldn’t possibly comment.
Trump’s lawyer Giuliani dismisses ‘compromising’ clip from new Borat film
Donald Trump’s lawyer Rudy Giuliani has dismissed as a “complete fabrication” a clip from a new Borat film appearing to show him with hands down his trousers.
“I was tucking in my shirt after taking off the recording equipment,” the former New York City mayor tweeted.
He was referring to an episode in the film, starring UK comedian Sacha Baron Cohen, where he is interviewed by an actress posing as a TV journalist.
The actress plays Borat’s daughter in the comedy Borat Subsequent Moviefilm.
The film – which is due to be released on Friday – is the sequel to Cohen’s 2006 hit Borat, where he played a fictional reporter from Kazakhstan.
• What do critics make of the Borat sequel?
•In the follow-up filmed earlier this year, Baron Cohen again tries to ambush US politicians and members of the public.
The scene with Mr Giuliani sees him being interviewed in a hotel room about the Trump administration’s response to the coronavirus outbreak.
The young actress then invites Mr Giuliani, 76, to join her for a drink. After his microphone is taken off, he lies down on the bed and appears to be putting his hands inside his trousers.
The Trump camp has accused his Democratic White House challenger and his son Hunter of wrongdoing in regards to Ukraine and China while he was vice-president – a claim Mr Biden denies.
• Hunter Biden: What was he doing in Ukraine and China?
Neither Baron Cohen nor his representatives have so far made any public comments regarding Mr Giuliani’s latest tweets about the forthcoming film.
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