Donald J. Trump is DEAF!
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By Donald “Braveheart” Stewart
Orange Aid and Agent Orange are standing outside the room. Inside there is chaos.
Picture the scene…
Mr. Trump is arguing.
He has been arguing a lot lately.
Sometimes … without anyone else in the room.
This time the room is filled with people. There is literally standing room only. Mr. Trump is arguing with them all. He is standing with his back to them and staring out of the window in the Not So Oval Office in the Not So White House with a whole load of people behind him, physically and very few actually behind him.
“There is nothing you can say to change my mind. Either one of them. They stole the election.”
Nobody in the room is going to argue with what they hear when Mr. Trump says something odd anymore. After four years they are all used to Mr. Trump.
“Mr. President, this has been the most secure vote in American history,” a disembodied voice dares to say.
Mr. Trump responds, “This has been the most corrupt vote in American history. Yes, I can see that. Thank you for saying that. I shall use that.”
There is a collective sigh round the room that he does not hear.
“Mr. President, there is no evidence that any voting system deleted or lost votes, changed votes or was in anyway compromised the election,” another disembodied voice of reason says.
“Thank you again. Voting systems deleted or lost votes, changed votes, again we shall use that. Very helpful. I hear that as many as 2.7 million votes have been deleted”
There is a further collective sigh but the temper of it is changing.
“Mr. President, you lost Arizona.”
Mr. Trump turns looking incredulous. “Don’t be stupid.” He points to a map, “There it is. it hasn’t been lost.”
He turns back to look out the window again.
Nobody can be bothered sighing.
“Mr. President, there is a risk to national security if we do not start the process of transition.”
Mr. Trump responds, “I agree, he is a real threat to national security, and this needs to be addressed too. I am so glad that I called you all in. Nobody is gladder than I am. I am the best at being glad and you have made me glad”.
With his phone in his hand, Mr. Trump starts to type.
“Please Mr. President, don’t send out any more information about this election being corrupt sir. It is delegitimizing the democracy we hold so dear.”
Mr. Trump looks up and says, “I like that. Delegitimizing… I am going to use that. You know machines have taken away my votes. Millions of votes.”
There is a final collective sigh in the room as people starts to disengage from Mr. Trump and start to leave.
Mr. Trump smiles as they do.
He now has the ammunition to go after that Joe man and gee he has the words now that they have given him them. He is on track to win. He will give Vlad a call later on to update him. He really has been a stand up guy. Even if you get past the accent, the fact he cannot speak English and the fact that he sounds a little foreign he has been really supportive, unlike all these paid people who are not on his side BUT now, Mr. Trump the genius has been given all the evidence he needs…
As for evidence of wrongdoing, the rest of the world have different expectations and values, however… who knew?
Whilst the author asserts his right to this as an almost original tale, any similarities to persons real or imagined are deliberate. However as there is little or no evidence that Mr. Trump knows where anything is on a map, as far as he is aware, this is clearly fictional and never actually happened, though some of the words of people who have spoken about the election have been used.
Donald J. Trump refuses to accept that he lost and along with many other republicans, who should definitely know better, is peddling bizarre theories. The end is nigh…
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