Donald J. Trump Lost More Than A Presidential Election to President Elect Joe Biden! He Lost His Mind Long Ago…
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By Donald “Braveheart” Stewart
It has become pretty chaotic down in the Not So White House. Having recently won the Call of Duty tournament in the basement, Orange Aid was feeling peachy. Then Mr. Trump stumbled in on it and thought it was a real firefight somewhere in Iraq and kept going on about the big bangs, the very nice dogs and banging on the door should happen soon.
People kept his delusions going…
Picture the scene…
The latest news that yet another court case that was supported by Mr. Giuliani has been thrown out of court has not gone down well…
Mr. Trump is pacing the room…
Orange Aid is pacing the room…
Agent Orange is still in the pot plant. People are getting worried. Agent Orange has not come out of the pot plant for days, though people hear muttering, every time they pass it.
Mr. Trump stops and looks over at the Orange Aid. He goes to speak, stops and then starts pacing again. The Orange Aid does not stop. They know that stopping means nothing, in fact Mr. Trump refuses to stop constantly. So, when he does it is only to tell you he won’t stop, even though he has.
Recently this has been the usual pattern of behaviour. Do something, claim he didn’t. stop something, claim he is continuing.
He is due in Georgia tonight to support two very nervous candidates. They are not nervous because they might lose, they are nervous because they might be supported by Mr. Trump.
Mr. Trump stops again. The Orange Aid stops. They think they hear snoring.
“This election was rigged, and we can’t let that happen,” Mr. Trump repeated what he had said on the phone to the folks in Georgia, that afternoon.
“I don’t care what they say, and I know they said that an appeal court judge said there was “no basis” for his challenge. But once we have won properly, we shall get rid of him and all the cucumbers in Georgia. In fact, I like cucumbers, do you like cucumbers?”
The Orange Aid squints and thinks…. They then nod.
Mr. Trump continues.
“I mean here, we are, I mean us, those of us here, not just in the room, but all over the house. We’re upbeat. We’re still working hard.”
Mr. Trump then starts to sound angry. “Why are people saying that you all are walking on eggshells? That nobody wants to say the wrong thing? That’s not true. We don’t eat enough eggs. Can you imagine that many eggs being eaten and who would put the egg shells out? Ridiculous.”
“There were some issues…” starts Orange Aid. But they don’t get to the end of the sentence before Mr. Trump jumps up in the air and punches the ceiling.
He calms down instantly as Orange Aid continues, “The Dow Jones closed above 30,000, a record level.”
Like a light switch being turned off, the President stops being angry.
He says, quite calmly, “You see? They are celebrating the success of the market that was certainly in part due to my policies, such as “improving trade deals” and “energy independence””
Orange Aid tries to bring sense to the room by stating, “Is it not sir because a transition to a Biden administration had been officially announced.”
Mr. Trump explodes. Orange Aid stands and watches for a short time and then steps back. Job done, really. They never wanted the job. In fact, their family had suggested it would be good to be fired on the very first day. The record time it had taken a previous Orange Aid to be fired had been 4.30pm in the afternoon.
This Orange Aid had just finished breakfast.
Mr. Trump stops screaming for a moment, turns one of his beady eyes towards the Orange Aid who has not flinched during the tirade and says, “Failure is not an option. You need to go back to your desk and come up with a plan to make this all work.” He looks at his watch. Mickey’s big hand is at the 6, and the little hand is just after the 8. “Back to me by zero ten hundred hours. That’s a quarter past six eastern time and after dinner.”
The Orange Aid swivels and leaves. This time round they have not won the challenge of getting fired earliest. It is only one of many games being played in the Not So White House. At least the staff are playing harmless ones though…
Whilst the author asserts his right to this as an almost original tale, any similarities to persons real or imagined are deliberate. However as there is little or no evidence that people in the White House play Call of Duty tournaments, as far as he is aware, this is clearly fictional and never actually happened, though some of the words of Mr. Donald J. Trump and others have been used…
During the week, more and more election court actions have been dismissed and there have been claims by some White House staffers that Donald J. Trump is highly volatile and you have to be very careful around him because he has a fierce temper on him… Sounds like a man unravelling…
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