Everybody Loves Raymond: A Look Back At a Simpler Time In America…

[AdSense-A]

By Ron Signore

The word “wholesome” can usually illustrate some sort of true purity. Wholesome television for children is still the likes of Sesame Street or Mr. Rogers Neighborhood (nowadays it is a cartoon version called Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood). For me, wholesome is classic type television content that the family can enjoy. The subject matter may not always be pure, and even a little bit taboo. However, the wholesome takes a turn to be what is realistic for me.

I had previously written months back about television we had back in my youth and what it is kind of like now. My ability to really watch these new “bingeworthy” shows in the past 10 years has been limited. I tend to work too much, and any spare time is spent with my family as much as possible.

Recently, the work portion got caught by COVID. This past week has been a turbulent rollercoaster of emotions. For the first time in years, I have had some free time to sit down and allow for some mindless television to hopefully bring my attitude back to positive. Instead of focusing my attention to these popular new shows, I decided to get some classic comedy in front of me.

For the past week, my wife and I have been bingeing Everybody Loves Raymond. When I was a kid, I enjoyed the show for some of it’s crudeness and it definitely had some shaping of my future personality. Now, I watch it with a whole new appreciation. The show is so relatable to family life now in so many ways, it is funny in a scary kind of way.

Let me first explain, Family Guy did a cutaway segment where they express the illustration of the drunk girl at a party who claims every song was written about her when it plays. I,myself, cannot stand that. I am not trying to be a hypocrite here, but the truth is, the realization of the situational comedy of this show is so familiar with parallels to real life.

For starters, the similarities on characters to those of real-life examples is classic. I look at Ray and Deborah and I see my wife and I in many ways. Now Ray is a bit of a stereotypical husband where the wife controls him, he fears being in the doghouse. I have no such fears. But like Ray, I bring some self-centered tendencies to my marriage. I focus on my work full time and when I am not working, I want the relaxing time and driving my hobbies forward. I really only have two hobbies that take my time- writing and umpiring. Neither of which I see giving up anytime soon. While I drive that aspect of our life in the stereotypical male identified gender role of the breadwinner, my wife is the sole caretaker of our three children, no matter how hectic and out of control three children under 10 can be. She is not known for her cooking (a very common jab from me like Ray to Deborah). She tries, but ultimately, I enjoy the cooking. That’s right, I am awesome. My wife is petite and pretty hot. I out kicked my coverage, just like a goofy Ray Barone.

Our kids resemble Ray and Robert in so many ways. They are always fighting for our attention and love, there is a natural tendency for “fomo” and jealousy from each child. While our oldest resembles the attitude and spoiled tendencies of Ray’s oldest child Ally, she has everyone wrapped around her finger and radiates princess in the modern day. Ironically, my other two children which are 6 and 18 months old, while not twins, are so similar in their looks and mechanical skills, it will be likely they will be close as siblings getting older. But what really keeps me circling back is how my first two kids are our version so far of Ray and Robert. My middle child has this adorable baritone voice and always wonders why her sister gets this or is allowed to do that. Every time, I hear in the back of my head, “everybody loves Raymond,” as if Robert is saying it.
Ray’s parents are not like mine. In fact, I would say my parents also have some resemblance to Ray and Deborah. With a long happy marriage, love their kids even though between my brother and I, we constantly feel the other is the favorite (we all know I am), my father loves sports, and my mom took care of the home. It was my grandparents that I see the relation to Frank and Marie Barone, but in a very odd way. My grandfather on my mother’s side would be Frank. There is very little difference between the comedic barking Frank does and my grandfather. Now some would find that rude and pre-maturely judge him, however, I look at the big picture, he adores my grandmother. They are always together, and they have their funny little married bickering that is more adorable than anything else. While she does cater to him, she is really nothing like Marie, whereas my grandmother on my father’s side is Marie to a ‘t.’ She was the stereotypical Italian mother and grandmother. She would do anything for her sons. She was an unbelievably amazing cook. She could put a guilt trip on you like it was no body’s business. She could use it to manipulate any situation. Her and my mother always had some interesting clashes that never really carried over. And despite everything, my grandmother lived to serve her family. My grandfather never went hungry, the house was always spotless, and the furniture was even covered in plastic.

While the show brings some real-life scenarios that are extremely similar to those that we experience everyday as parents and in family situations, it’s the reminder of the nostalgia to a simpler time for me. It reminds me of my loved ones. It makes light of some of the seriousness we see in the world today. It brings back memories of great family dinners at holidays where I would avoid the roast my mom made and bolt right to my grandmother’s pasta dish. It reminds me of sleeping over at my grandparent’s house and my grandfather entering the kitchen to sit down at the table for breakfast and exclaiming something similar to, “eggs Marie.” It is remembering the denial of my grandmother’s favoritism to my father’s brother, though, never doubting her love for my father. It is battling (softly) differences of views between generations on what is acceptable for our children when raising them.

Finally, it takes me to a feeling that resembles the end of The Godfather Part 2. The movie closes with a scene where there was a party celebrating the birthday of the Don with everybody gathering a point that is almost like the pinnacle before the next segment of their lives. Where everything was normal. Concerns were minimal and life had it’s regularities. Then the next chapter signifies a different story chronologically where we see the passing of responsibilities and challenges ahead to navigate through. And when you get to a certain point, one reflects on the events from that point forward to see what maybe they didn’t see at the moment. The realities of all of this just takes me to a place mentally that brings a smile, a time of carelessness, a time of consistent family unity that maybe I took for granted prior to this pandemic. I will say this, I am extremely lucky.

[si-contact-form form=’2′]