Nemo Snowstorm VICTIM SUPPORT: Plowed In, Bottled Water & More – VinMan to the Rescue

By Vinnie Franklin (At Snow-side)

Yo, check this out. I got six trillion emails this morning, saying: “please Vinman, rescue us! We are buried in snow!” Well, if you’re waiting for those keyboard warrior plow guys to help you, you’ll be waiting a long time. They are nothing more than blowhard, noodle dick, assclowns and I’m putting them on blast! YA HEARD!

I immediately rented a truck, loaded up snow shovels and bottled water and am going to right this wrong! YA HEARD! I can’t stand by and let my fans be put on blast. Now there are some assclowns out there saying that they are helping people but they are only helping themselves at the Home Town Buffet. YA HEARD! I’m actually helping as seen in the above pic. That ski resort’s plow was not working and a woman was having a baby and needed to make it to the hospital and I shoveled her all the way there.

I have shoveled out over 50,000 homes. A man’s man doesn’t use a snow blower. A man’s man knows that you splash on your Drakkar and grab a shovel. Now, as I was shoveling, six dozen hot women came up to me and said: “Aren’t you Vinnie Franklin, the Vinman?” I said: “YA HEARD,” and then showed them pictures of me and Tom Cruise that I had on my cell phone. One girl, Fran, was so taken with me, but I’m a man’s man and a man’s man doesn’t tie down with one woman. YA HEARD!

I’m not going to stop until all houses are shoveled out. Here are some of the reactions of the people after I’ve helped them:

“Thank you Vinman. This storm was sexually harassing me! LOL… Of course, I mean that it was a nuisance. Marry me Vinman!” – Fran of Vermont

“Big fat storm got put on blast! I can now get out of my driveway and not go to work…since I do not work, but I sure do love my big long rubber toy!” – Antonio Santiallo of Connecticut

“That storm took my teeth, but you took it down! Thanks!” – George of the Bronx

“You actually came to Canada to help this man with a pompadour? Cheers!” – Kelvin of Canada

“You may never admit this, but Vinman is bigger than Nemo will ever be! YOU FOOL!” – Bacon Barry of New Hampshire