Kap’s Smoke Ring Vol. 9: Deontay Wilder – Bermane Stiverne II: Preview & Prediction
By “Kap” Kaplowitz
If you’ve been reading this, my Kap’s Smoke Ring column for awhile, and why wouldn’t you be? — this ‘un will be a blatant tick even two ticks different. Don’t you fret, I’m enjoying a fine cigar as ever; I’ll simply herein be covering a single topic instead’a my typical plethora. Why? Because I was given full creative control by the Right and Honorable Mr. “Bad” Brad Berkwitt of this here, his Ringside Report. Late last night, my creativity doth ran-dry. I’m quite proud it took a full eight volumes to do-so. Nevertheless, I emailed sir and he replied with the prompt of Wilder-Stiverne II. Preview and prediction. So, gentlepersons, lettuce up-on our task awa-aaa-y we go…
Deontay “The Bronze Bomber” aka “Windmill” Wilder, 38-0, 37 KO’s will this Saturday defend his WBC World Heavyweight crown ‘gainst from whom he wrest it, Bermane “B.Ware” Stiverne, 25-2-1, 21 KO’s. Interestingly, and something we shall later and briefly delve-into, is that BoxRec lists B.Ware as currently N.Active. Residing in Lost Wages via Haiti, the 6’2 38 year-old last fought in 2015 versus the 30-10 Derric Rossey to a unanimous-decision victory. Prior to that was his Wilder loss via another UD and prior-prior was a 2014 stoppage win over Chris “Don’t Call Me The Nipple” Arreola.
D.Wilder, 32 years-old and standing five-inches above-he has a latest three as follows: wins over Gerald Washington, C.Arreola, and Artur Szpilka — two of three a who’s who of who??? to many an ear making the bread, surrounding meat served a bit past its prime.
Why is this happening? Blame Luis Ortiz and his high blood-pressure diabetes treatment which also acts as a masking agent for ‘roids and such cheatery. Stiverne is merely a replacement. A luke-warm body. “He look-warm,” is an old Yiddish punch-line, and an apt ‘nuff one here. We now have an abridged why, let’s soldier on to what — as in what happened when they first fought.
Wilder punched through and around Stiverne’s guard, seemingly at will. The now champ too showed that he was susceptible to a counter left-hook. It went to the cards, as we know. Twixt opening and final bells, something I noticed was a bit more Wilder refrain than he’s more recently shown, insofar as not going utterly windmill. That won’t be the case this go-’round.
Stiverne will enter rusty and I dare-predict cold. Dry. Transversely, Wilder will enter heatedly. He’ll feel slighted at the missed opportunity of proving himself over L.Ortiz. He’ll be oblivious as to the fact he hath been ridiculously protected. It shant go to the cards… not by a long-shot. My prediction for Saturday? …
I’ll regret whatever I ate on Friday during my Sabbath cheat-meal. Officially and precisely: two dozen moans and half a dozen Alka-Seltzer packets. But you probably thought I meant the fight. Deontay Wilder “Than Thou” in the early mid-rounds. He’ll hurt him bad in the fourth-frame after realizing that counter-hook ain’t there. Stiverne may make it to the fifth. It will be one heckuva thud.
Next for Wilder it seems will be a Dillian Whyte bout put to-gether by one Mr. Eddie Hearn. So, if anyone needs to catch up on some sleep — look forward to that. D.Whyte’s recent bout with Robert Helenius is currently facing a law-suit levied by Ambien for gimmick infringement. Oh, look. My cigar done burnt all the way down.
Until next week, gentlepersons — keep yer chin tucked and BOO. Have a safe Halloween.
BOO!!!
Did I get ya that time?
To read and hear more of “Kap” Kaplowitz:
www.Kaplowitz.xyz and Kaplowitz Radio are the blog (daily) and podcast (Sundays & Wednesdays) homes of “Kap” Kaplowitz. In broad strokes, topics include: lifestyle, sports, and fashion. In more narrow strokes: cigars, boxing, baseball, and sweatpants. Want more? Advice and etiquette. Still more? Schtick Yiddish & Pig Shakespearean. Have you Kaplowitz’d to-day? Every week, Kap will make an appearance here at Ringside Report; smoking a stogie and unloading his boxing brains.
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