Outrageous, These Thoughts That Haunt My Every Waking Moment!

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By E.L. Alexander

I told by my ex sister-in-law that I wasn’t going to come on Facebook anymore until after the election-because the reiteration of her belief in the Trump manifestoes was making me anxious—she told me she understood that “hearing the truth” would make me feel that way—when in no second of time have I ever said I believed any of it. She has bought into the whole agenda, that the coronavirus is a hoax, all newscasters lie, racism is a made-up nonsense and the Confederate Flag is just a memory we must embrace.

Now, this woman lived through the abusive narcissism of my older brother. She helped ME understand his narcissism and why he has always treated me with such judgment and disdain. She helped me with this confusion about his behavior towards me, just ONE year ago. This woman KNOWS what a narcissist is like—has lived through his abuse and is very informed about what it is—so why can’t she see that Trump is a malignant narcissist?

I have seen many psychologists analyze Trump’s behavior—but what is it about that reprehensible man that attracts him to many? Are they simply drawn to his hate? He is not handsome nor intelligent. He is not talented in any way shape or form. Why is he so attractive to his minions? Why is he attractive to the poor, whom he does not serve?

I have spent the greater part of the past few years of my life, after an extremely horrible illness, examining my origins, and why and how people have and have not evolved. I left that podunk town where I grew up, because I was always in dissonance with the narrow minded and limited view of the people there. They were my people, and I understand their ideas and concerns, but they are very limited. I expanded my world with my move to Seattle in 1986, immediately attacking the issues of racism and how I was involved or did not understand what it all meant. I wrote a personal treatise on my complete lack of comprehension of the racism I had learned while growing up in that town.

I was friends with a Chinese man (an American –born American, but his grandfather had immigrated as a worker originally from China—so he is Chinese) when I moved to Seattle. He was involved with the Northwest Asian American Theatre—NWAT. This company was creating a production called “Miss Minidoka 1942.” It was a musical that took place in the Minidoka Internment Camp during WWII as a reflection of the Miss America Pageant of the same time, but comedically reflective of the Japanese American experience, at that time. I worked on some of the musical numbers with my friend, who was writing many of the songs for the production. I had said to my friend, Richard, that I, “didn’t think of him as Chinese, because he was just like anyone else.” He told me he was insulted by that, because by saying that, I had erased who he was and his family and all that he held dear.

It was the beginning of my exploration into my own racial prejudices that I didn’t realize I had. I was convinced inculturation of immigrants was the best way for them to become “real” Americans, as my mother had told me about her own grandparents—one of whom had never learned English and one of whom had. She said it was important to integrate to become an American.

The problem with this indoctrination into “Americanism” is that those who come here from somewhere else give up their own culture –and integrate what? Exactly? If they are white—they are then—”White.” If they are a person of color—they are—“other.” If white people hung on to their cultures of origin and stopped accepting the “white” designation America wants them to take on, they might not categorize people of color as “other.” And there might be a better understanding of the value of divergent cultures from which we can all find love, joy and enthusiasm.

Donald Trump is the epitome of these fears, from “white,” cultural indoctrination. He promotes the fears un-cultured people have AND recreates “culture” for them—of hate, dissonance and safety within said group. They gather in fan groups, as a way to “find” someplace to “belong.” If they belonged to and celebrated within their own historical cultures, they would have no reason to find this abyss of hateful, deplorable, fear mongering, “culture” appealing to them—they would have some joy and belonging in their own cultural beginnings—and find ways to share their own culture with others who are different.

Donald Trump’s values are this: Money is all that matters, because in HIS family, that was the only thing they cared about—and despite the recent immigration of his family, he has no emotional or psychological connection to his German or Scottish roots. HE celebrates none of it, and only sees any connection to Scotland, as a way to try to make more money. His values and the values of most rich capitalist focused politicians are that if it makes money—it is a success-and anything that doesn’t make us richer is not worth doing. We need not re-evaluate what we value in this country—it is really people, and not money. So the sacrifice of our children and elders to coronavirus is slimly a statement of capitalist money values, and not the people who are the real value to this country.

Donald Trump is the evil, seeping sludge of money values without any cultural significance. Nothing he does has a spiritual, religious or historically cultural meaning. It is empty and without love, hope or connection to anything remotely human. He values nothing but that money in his cold hands—like Judas. He is nothing. He is a pitiful lost black hole of nothing. We can be better than that. We can value one another and stop this insanity and promote cultural values that are in abundance in this county and end “whiteness.” Let us love one another. “Greater love has no one that this—that they lay down their life for their friends.” John 15:13.

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