Donald Trump Will Be Moving Out of the QVC House & Joe Biden Will Return it to the White House!
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By Donald “Braveheart” Stewart
It is dusk in the Not So White House and Mr Trump is preparing…
Picture the scene…
Here we are, once again, at a point in the life of Mr Trump where he is worried. He doesn’t often worry but when he does, he knows that he worries better than anyone else does., In fact he knows that nobody worries better than he worries.
So, when he worries, he really worries.
He is worried about what is happening outside.
He is also worried because people are talking of him having to move out of this Big House soon. He doesn’t want to go…
Mr Orange, his aide, who does not look like the Mr Orange from yesterday is helping him prepare.
“Mr President,” Mr Orange is saying. “We need to stick close as we go out because there are bad people out there.”
“Bad people,” Mr Trump repeats.
“You have to stick close to me and we shall get you through this, sir.”
“Stick close,” Mr Trump repeats.
“You are sure that you have all that Mr President?” the aide checks.
“Sure,” Mr Trump repeats.
At that point, the door opens and in walks all of his family apart from that niece who said something nasty in a book. Mr Trump does not read books. At least not unless they have lots of nice pictures. He keeps his best ones under his bed. Like he did when he was a teenager.
The tall blond woman is now talking to him. She always looks distressed when she is near him and he is beginning to worry about who she is. Melanie or some such name, he thinks. He is trying to remember what happened to the bossy woman Ivanka who spoke funny.
He liked her. Until he didn’t. Then she left. He liked when she left.
But this woman seems to like him when people are around and try to get away when they are not…
As he is left pondering who she is, Mr Orange straightens up and says, “Mr President, we are ready to go.”
Just at that point the media woman who always fusses comes in and takes him by the elbow. Funny, he thinks, didn’t she have a nurse’s uniform on yesterday?
They march out to the big lawn where there are lots of people staring at him. As soon as the lights hit his face, he knows he has to smile and perform.
He relaxes as they don’t look like people who want him to leave. And there si a lot of them. He thinks there might be a couple of million on the lawn.
He thinks, “Sure to stick close to bad people… Sure to stick close to bad people… Sure to stick close to bad people… Sure to stick close to bad people… Sure to stick close to bad people… Sure to stick close to bad people…”
It’s repeating in his head as he reaches the lectern and with the world watching starts to read off the screens.
He talks for a long time…
He talks for a very long time…
He wonders if he was supposed to speak for this long but keeps going until…
He comes to the end and stops.
People applaud and he thinks these must be the bad people to whom I must stick close. All seems to have gone well.
He is the nominee, he hears, as he is guided back into the Not So White House from the South Lawn. He knew things were going well because he heard lots of car horns. He had seen on the television that people honk their horns when they agree with you and he is very impressed that they could hear him from where he was speaking.
Back in the Not So Oval Office, in the Not So White House, he is listening to the tall blond woman again. She is complaining that someone blanked her at the ceremony. Is it her that wants him to leave? Why is she talking about being blanked by someone?
He thinks it might be her daughter. Or was it his daughter? Has he got a daughter? Should he not be dating a daughter by now? He stops daydreaming and realises that people are looking at him again.
She is still talking at him.
How rude, he thinks, and then switches off. Her voice is beginning to worry him so when he is worried already, he switches off and starts to ignore things. He likes ignoring her.
He then realizes that she is not talking any more and is just glaring at him.
She points to a diagram on the wall. It is of the Not So Rose Garden. He can vaguely remember she did something with it and realises he needs to be nice, so he says, “Wonderful.” He hopes that this is enough to stop her glaring. He doesn’t like other people glaring. Glaring is his job.
Then he thinks if she has been making changes it can’t be her who wants him to move…
She does not instantly stop glaring but holds her glare for a moment or so. It is really scary, he thinks.
Oh God, panic sets in, has he forgot an anniversary or something?
She nods decisively like she knows he has forgotten something and there is little point in waiting for him to remember, turns on her heel and leaves with everyone else. Apart from the aide, Mr Orange, Mr Trump is now alone in the room.
Mr Trump looks up at the aide and asks, “Is this an anniversary or something? I feel like it is an anniversary.”
The aide, Mr Orange, misunderstands. “It’s the same weekend of Mr Martin Luther King’s speech sir.”
Mr Trump looks up. “Martin Luther King? He didn’t come to my inauguration. I mean, it’s his right not to come. There’s not a problem with him not coming but I have been sure to stick close to bad people… like you said I should.”
Mr Orange looks confused. He makes a start to ask for clarification and then remembers his briefing notes. He is not to ask for any detail and not to argue back. It’s for an easy life so he stands up straight, salutes and says, “Yes, Mr President.”
He nods decisively, turns on his heel and leaves. Mr Trump is now truly alone in the room with his thoughts.
Fear never knew a bigger canvas…
I like the ring of that, thinks Mr Trump, I shall use it often. “Yes, Mr President.”
Whilst the author asserts his right to this as an almost original tale, any similarities to persons real or imagined are deliberate. However as there is little or no evidence that Mr Trump has ever forgotten the name of his second wife, as far as he is aware, this is clearly fictional and never actually happened.
During the week at the Republican National Congress, Donald Trump accepted his party’s nomination for re-election to the White House. Whilst Mr Trump might not be worried in reality, the rest of us should be terrified if the worry we have now is not turned into votes against Donald
Trump on the 3rd November. At that point he should be ready to move for all of our sakes.
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