Believe It or Not, This is America!
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By Maya J. Carter
Come one, come all. I beseech you to join the latest societal craze. Cognitive dissonance, defined as “the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change”, is at an all time high. The Dunning-Kruger Effect defined as “a cognitive bias in which people with low ability at a task overestimate their ability” is a dominant trait exemplified through the deeds and actions of “leader” of the free world Donald Trump and his sycophants. His incompetence and ineptitude is seen as strength by his followers; even extolled by his enablers in an effort to rationalize the chipping away and dismantling of our democracy due to his morally nihilistic tendencies and perpetual wrecking ball of chaos. Even politicians supporting the orange monstrosity see the advantages of dabbling in these principles, embracing the 20,000+ documented lies and falsehoods of said orange monstrosity for their personal and political gain.
We exist in a time where we are permitted to fabricate an alternative reality whenever we wish not to deal with painful truths. We are even able to argue with others on social media, using meaningless gibberish to explain away the president’s atrocious behavior. Remember, “what you’re seeing and what you’re reading is not what’s happening” as stated by His Orange Eminence, so we can use this as an excuse for ignorance of the facts. Since we are now permitted to reject realism and veracity no longer matters, I shall immerse myself in this newly accepted doctrine and provide my Declaration of Independence from Reality (somewhat similar to the declaration of internet independence promoted by Parler). What have I got to lose, right?
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Article I) I now believe that the Hadron Collider opened a space-time continuum and we are stuck in a parallel universe…
because I refuse to believe that our politicians continue to separate children from their parents and place children in cages, while selling “Baby Lives Matters” onesies. And I refuse to believe that the youngest child separated from their parents was 4 months old.
Article Blue) I now believe that pigs can indeed fly…
because I refuse to believe that our leaders find it acceptable to endorse policy that bans people based on religious affiliation, and deploy xenophobic scare tactics to manipulate public opinion such as speaking of caravans of sinister people crossing the border to fuel hate.
Article L.wHaTeVs) I now believe that we reside in the realm found only at the cross section where the Upside Down of “Stranger Things” meets the planet Vulcan of “Star Trek”…
because I refuse to believe that the president of the United States cozies up to autocrats who kill their own family members and poison their political opponents, even going so far as to send them beautiful love letters.
Article N.O.1) I now believe that murder hornets are actually the apian surveillance drones of Black Mirror brought to life…
because I refuse to believe that the nation’s president refuses to condemn foreign actors who undermine our democracy through interference in our elections, ignores and discredits our intelligence agencies, and cast aspersions on his predecessor in the Oval Office whom he said was “spying” on him. And that these foreign actors are easily able to manipulate the United States president by catering to his fractured ego and malignant narcissism.
Article tImE.wArP) I now believe that the best way to reset our democracy is through avoiding our problems and employing magical thinking. “It’s just a jump to the left. And then a step to the right.”…
because I refuse to believe that the man holding the most revered office of the land makes outrageous, simplistic claims such as nuking hurricanes, sweeping forests, and condemning windmills because the noise causes cancer, not to mention stares directly into solar eclipses.
Article Orange) I now believe that the beauty industry has secretly plotted to introduce a new line of foundation with shades ranging from Oh Hell Naw Orange to Tacky Tangerine, and that these products potentially could have cured rampant drapetomania of the 19th century…
because I refuse to believe that we employ a president that constantly applies spray tan to alter his skin tone to a pumpkin like hue while paradoxically being unapologetically racist against people of color, even defending the motivations of White Supremacists when a number of these so-called “alt-right” bigots have killed American citizens protesting racial inequality. And that he sics unmarked troops upon people expressing their first amendment rights, and when that does not get the point across, supports armed hate groups and militias threatening and intimidating fellow citizens fighting for justice. And that he tear gasses peaceful protesters to stage a photo-op with a bible. And that he basically promotes civil unrest and chaos.
Article Q.Bert) I now believe that the night sky is really a large covering over the earth where a light shines through punched holes appearing in the ceiling…
because I refuse to believe that the current president gives credence to unhinged conspiracy theories provided by an unknown, unnamed online source, and vocalizes support for politicians that believe in the same disturbing theories, even while the FBI deems the conspiracy group a domestic terror threat.
Article aT.aLIeN Section MMM) I now believe that the Lost City of Atlantis has been hiding in plain sight and is really the city of Atlanta; it was simply misspelled…
because I refuse to believe that the our head of state believes climate change is a hoax as we are currently plagued by wildfires raging in the western United States, hurricanes, floods, and droughts affecting areas throughout the globe, and carbon emissions detrimental to the environment and overall health of global citizens.
Article XV Section 02) I now believe that there is no alternative to alternative facts, and the only absolute truth is that there is no absolute truth…
because I refuse to believe that the leader elected by the people of the United States who pledged to uphold the Constitution and laws of this country recommended to his supporters to commit felonies by advising them to vote twice in the general election; this is after perpetuating lies regarding rampant voter fraud. I also refuse to believe this was supported and explained away by the Attorney General of the United States.
Article I Section 8.02) I know believe that a snowball does have a chance in hell…
because I refuse to believe that the Commander-In-Chief of the United States military referred to our honorable veterans, POWs, and current troops “losers” and “suckers” and belittled their enormous sacrifices to this country, as well as belittled Gold Star families. This from a five time draft dodger.
Article 2.VIII) I now believe that it is possible to smell the color nine…
because I refuse to believe that the president falsely touts a strong economy when 13 million are still unemployed, the federal deficit for FY2020 is currently $2.8 trillion (triple the deficit at this point last year), and the country will likely face a foreclosure and homelessness crisis.
Article W.T.H.) I now believe that the Zuul, The Gatekeeper and minion of Gozer of Ghostbusters fame, is really the ancestor of all dogs awaiting instructions to take over the world…
because I refuse to believe that the Attorney General of the United States is essentially acting as the personal attorney of the president and upending the Department of Justice that is tasked to represent the people of the United States. And that the AG is actively engaging in interfering in criminal cases involving the crony friends of the president, particularly those caught in lie after lie regarding their relationships with hostile foreign actors to the United States. And that the same AG is moving to interfere in a civil case where the defendant is the current president accused of defaming the character of a woman pursuing DNA evidence in an effort to prove she was a victim of sexual assault.
Article wH.y) I now believe that the “true” end date of the Mayan Calendar was June 15, 2020 and the December 12, 2012 prediction was a mere miscalculation (and do not question how it is that we still exist since, well you know)…
because I refuse to believe that leader of the country would lie to the American public, downplaying the dire consequences of a global pandemic, while relaying the complete opposite scenario in a taped interview with Bob Woodward in February 2020. The United States has suffered from 6.37M cases and 190K+ deaths while he continued to lie to the American public, – and projections forecast approximately 410K coronavirus deaths by January 2021 in the United States. I refuse to believe that his explanation for perpetuating this lie is that he wanted to avoid panicking the American people – in actuality the motivation for his deception was to shield his incompetence, avoid dips in the stock market, and save his reelection chances.
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“I don’t take responsibility at all” if no one else adheres to these beliefs; cancel culture and echo chambers will allow these beliefs to be promulgated only by true believers and Patriots. Facts, science and empirical evidence are meaningless, and only us true Americans comprehend the (un)verifiable truths in these articles. Just make up any deceptive and ridiculous idea, promote it via the dark corners of social media or Facebook, and voilà, some other idiot…sorry, I mean “stable genius”…will believe it, too.
I hold these untruths to be obfuscation, that “a lie is not a lie…it’s just what I think.” I do not have to explain why I believe the things I now believe; just know that I believe them, and as a self-proclaimed “stable genius”, what I say must be true. Cognitive dissonance has taken over too much of the American psyche, now normalized by leaders of the country, and insidiously escalated through attacks by foreign actors infiltrating our social networks while our leaders feign ignorance. But again, that is of no importance. People can believe whatever they wish, it is our new right to remain ignorant. I now believe that people don’t realize that the Dunning-Kruger Effect is really a conspiracy promoted by the radical left, then indoctrinated by main stream media reports, who try to impart their version of reality upon the unwitting masses…
because I refuse to believe that the overwhelming majority of Republican Senators refused to vote to remove this belligerent, impeached president with all of the facts presented to them. And that the Vice President and the Cabinet have not enacted the 25th Amendment for a clearly impaired, disturbed and corrupt president. And that the current state of the union is worse off due to their cowardice and selfishness. And that his enablers willfully fall in line with his attempts at decimating the Constitution and his constant sowing division in the country, either through their words or their silence. And that people actually still believe his bull, lies, codswallop, and hateful rhetoric.
What have I got to lose in believing in the Declaration of Independence from Reality? Perhaps my sanity, my common sense, my morality, my inclusion in a cohesive society, and eventually my freedom, just as His Orange Eminence’s most rabid fans have readily embraced. But man, is it comforting to put on my blinders and live in this alternate reality because now I do not have to face the truth – that our democracy is in dire jeopardy, as are reason and understanding.
What do you believe?
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