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Ken Allen: Remembering A Soulmate On My Trip Through the Universe

By Janet Grace

SUNDAY, NOV 4, 2007….

Dear Diary:

I went to a non-denominational service today.

I really didn’t dig the minister, but I love the feeling of the place and something tells me, I’m home.

There was this huge dude sitting next to me. I hadn’t noticed him until someone asked a question and I answered. I glanced over and he was staring, I mean just plain starin’ at me.

I didn’t know if he was interested in what I had to say or if I was going to have to punch him in the throat.

You know, my history with guys. They haven’t been nice or at least, I’ve had a magnet for dishonest ones.

I’d much rather people think I’m as queer as a deer than have to explain why I keep to myself.
I gave him the “don’t you be checking me out!” look. He shot me an “eww, as if!” look.

I think we’re going to get along just fine. THANK THE GODS!

(Excerpts of “Inside The Mind Of Me” by JGA ©2007 )

A gentleman from your hat to your boots and the epitome of compassionate strength is who you’ve always been for me.

My Dearest Soul Partner and one I’ve loved and knew I knew in another lifetime, from day one.

I understand that you’ve been reading the brochures about journeying to other realms lately and it seems you decided to book your flight. I have to put this into metaphors so I don’t lose what’s left of my marbles.

So, I ask you: Who am I going to discuss the cosmos with until four o clock in the morning while drinking 290 pots of black coffee?

Who’s going to understand my need for copious amounts of salt?

Who am I going to agree to disagree with and Who’s going to piss me off to high heavens because as usual: YOU’RE RIGHT! YOU’RE ALWAYS RIGHT!

Who is going to have the nerve to call me on my stuff and tell me I’m full of baloney in much harsher terms and do all but put your size 100 boot in places it’s never been?
Who’s going to say: “there, there”, when I’m crying, and when I say: “where?” will respond: “RIGHT THERE!! STOP THE CAR, YOU JUST MISSED THE FUCKING DINER!!!!”

I’ll be left slamming my head against the ceiling every night given the loft bed you cut down for me while warning me it was still too tall, is indeed, still, too tall.

Thank you, Ken.

Thank you for being such a wonderful and true-blue friend since day one. Thank you for being the Love of my Life.

Thank you for being one of the only persons in my life tough enough to make sense to me through laughter, your gentle manner and humor.

Thank you for always telling me what was truly on your mind, a rare gift, I know and I’ll cherish that always.

Me: ‘Ummm. Why don’t you tell me how you REALLY FEEL’.


Thank you for steering me away from the “Crazy” when your Eagle Eyes saw clearly and mine were too blind to see.

Thank you for laughing with me.

Teaching me how to ride a motorcycle.

AND ACTUALLY, holding up a 425lb bike three inches too tall for me.
So, I could make believe I was riding it – On my front lawn.

We really went far.

Thank you for making motorcycle riding so relaxing and safe that I actually fell asleep as your passenger.

Thank you for sharing your heart and dreams with me.

Thank you for being the dream I always wished for.

Thank you for being a true-blue BFF I could share anything with.

Your metal wind chime in the shape of a diamond and the G-clef fashioned from a paper clip are two of my most prized possessions, along with the recipe for molasses bread that you hand wrote for me when I went to Harper’s Ferry, WV.

I was SO happy to see you when I got back.

I remember when you told me you HAD to see me at Nine o’clock sharp at night. I met you at the Shopping Center at Johnson Ave n you had this metal diamond you’d made by hand out of titanium.

It had been “witched up” by you and it gave me a shock. It was a PROTECTION AMULET. You wanted me to have it and it had to be right then and there because of the direction the planets were facing. It was beautiful. Yeah, to some it would just look like a piece of metal, but you’d done it mathematically.

You took your time. You calculated (I don’t know what) to forge this beautiful amulet to protect my home because when you asked who I lived with I’d said: oh, me, myself & I and a Jack Russell who bites.

I placed the Amulet on my front entrance door and witch that you are, robberies were coming to my street. Everyone on that block had their houses broken into at one time or another EXCEPT FOR ME. I left the doors unlocked and opened, and was safe, safe, safe thanks to you.

Local Diner after Sunday Service were the norm and we met the coolest folks! Floods of people came and then – we were ALL family. Life was magic. You had to be blind not to see your chivalry, decency, and beauty shining from under the brim of your hat. I loved you from day one, Ken. You taught me I could trust again. If I take anything with me that you taught me as we have all grown together, it’s a feeling of thankfulness that I always let you know how special you have always been to me.

Thank you.
YOU are perfect.
I’m going to miss you like crazy, but…
I’ll always have your beautiful smile,
And you’re damned stubborn, pig-headed “blah-blah-blahs” in my memory …
And you know how well THAT works.

I have to look at this sudden journey of yours as it is. You’re leaving the party before us I know…

I’ll see you later. If I don’t, “Insane in the Membrane” will bare my name. I don’t know anything about anything, but I am going to ask you to please let me know when you get to the other side.


– No size 1000 boots falling on my car windshield —

– WHUPS! He’s there!

I’m begging the Gods to please give me time to tell you what my heart is feeling before you depart.

Ken – I wish for you peace.
I wish for you whatever you want.
I wish I could see you again, but as always –
I respect you and what you want as much as I’ve always honored you and will continue to do so
Until I get to see you again.

You’re taking my heart with you. You know that, right?
Put it in your pocket and keep it in a safe place for me.
I’ll get it from you when I see you again.

I’ll love you always.
Thank you for being my Love.
My protector!
My Jiminy Cricket and….
My most, most, MOST EVER precious mate.

May Heaven exist for you. May your puppy, Brandon, be there to greet you. May your most wonderful journey continue as beautifully as you were…

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